The Price of Yesterday
by Your Friend Tiger
Summary: After losing everything she cares about, Natasha wakes up to find herself in a different reality, one where it is up to her to assemble the Avengers. Though, she just might lose them again and there will be no more second chances this time.
1. Yesterday

Title: The Price of Yesterday

Synop: After she loses her team, Natasha finds herself in a different reality, one where its up to her to assemble her team, but she might just lose them again and this time, there will be no second chances.

Characters: All the Avengers are in this story, but mostly the spotlight is on Tasha. Phil, Fury, and Loki also appear in this story.

Pairings: Probably NatashaXClint, though I'm halfway through and it hasn't popped in exactly yet, but still. Shippers gonna ship.

Rating: K+ for violence. Please note there will be zombies.

Disclamer: If I were to say I didn't own this characters, weell that would be the truth

...

_It was like a dream come true for me…_

_And then I realized…_

_It was only a dream._

_-Unknown_

…

They sent broken men to keep the world in one piece.

Blood dribbled across the pavement, staining anything near it a dark crimson. Bodies littered the ground, both the enemies and those of the innocent, and yet, still Natasha walked.

She walked until the soles of her feet bled like the scars on the ground. She walked until the pain became a dull constant throb. She walked until she couldn't remember why she walked.

_Everything comes to an end._

Everything that was beautiful, soothing, and peaceful, anything she loved… it always broke. It always ended in the flurry of flames and the grand downpour of pain. Like now.

The ash, the blood, they were everywhere. Remnants of what once was. The people she had loved were now lost among the rubble, never to be seen again.

She screamed their names.

Silence held her in its cold embrace.

After a while, the silence became welcoming reality. The only sound she could hear was the beating of her broken heart.

Natasha had lost everything _again._

The place she called home, the friends that were like family, Clint, Tony, Bruce… her team mates who would gladly give their lives for her, going beyond part of her family and more of a part of herself. She needed them like the air she breathed. And they were gone, like a whisper on the light breeze.

Gone.

If she could have done anything to get them back, fix the mistakes she had made, she would have done it. Even if it had meant to take a bullet to the brain.

Her whole soul ached, the cracks yearning to mend. _I can fix myself _she told herself in a soft voice in the back of her mind _I can begin again._

So she walked. She walked like a dying man on his way to the noose. The sun was setting, a last flash of glorious light before it would die like the rest of the world. The breeze tugged at her red hair, pulling it onto her face. She reached to push it back but noted the flash of red on her hands.

Blood. Her hands were covered in the dark scarlet liquid. It was dried, mostly. It burned her gaze, the last bit of who Natasha had been screamed.

Her breath was shaky. Her heart pounded like a hammer smashing against the anvil, the cracks in her soul seemingly growing larger with every beat. And with that, Natasha cried.

She cried until she was numb all over. Until the tears had washed away any memory left to torment her.

Her feet fell from beneath her, though she was too drained to do anything beyond letting herself crumple to the hard ground.

It was cold, Almost bitterly so. Almost as if the earth hated her as much as fate did. The rocks had cut her skin by the fall, droplets of crimson dripped from her cuts, running down her skin. They were the only thing that was really _warm._

She was alone.

She was totally, utterly alone now.

All she really wanted to do was sleep. Let the world flow on as she lay oblivious to its ongoings. She could sleep away the pain, the cold, and wake up to a new day. At a time she could begin again and wash away the pain.

She was the Black Widow.

She could bend and twist herself in new ways to avoid pain, to avoid being weak. _I can do this… _she fibbed to herself _I didn't need them. I don't need anyone. I'm… _scrapping the edges now. She let her heart go; now she couldn't get it back, she didn't want it back. She wanted her team. She wanted to feel safe again.

And with a small sight, the Widow closed her eyes and let herself sleep.

She slept her tears away, the pain, and her suffering. A few nightmares were worth suffering.

And when she woke up, she was in a different world.

For one thing, it wasn't broken the same way. The buildings weren't cracked. The pieces were still together. The world seemed brighter.

Everything, literally, _everything _was better. The air, the sun… she noticed the change as soon as her eyes opened.

The world was better.

She was still injured. She was still broken. But the world around her had healed. It was beautiful again. Natasha stood up, slowly. She didn't dare trust her legs, which trembled beneath her feet. She stumbled with her heart in her mouth.

She didn't manage to catch herself; instead she collapsed against the dark pavement.

"Ma'am? Are you all right?"

Then there was helping hands behind her, helping her to her feet. "I just- I just need to get to Avengers tower"

"Are you sure? There is no 'avengers' tower around here…" stuttered her helper. Natasha cursed herself. Of course there wasn't. The tower had been destroyed. Her life had been destroyed.

She was alone.

She turned to face her helper, a smile on her face "Well, thank you for…" she trailed off after she saw who it was "Phil?"

He was wearing his suit, clean and pressed. His eyes sparkled with a light she hadn't seen in ages. He smiled and held out his hand "I'm sorry. Have we met?"

She held her breath. Coulson was alive. Coulson was here and he didn't remember her name.

"Yes" she whispered, trying to stop her tears but failing miserably "Yes, we do"

Phil looked unsure. He wasn't sure why this lady was crying, or how he could help her. "Ummm… are you okay?" he asked. He wasn't used to this whole comfort random woman who knows you but you have no idea who they are thing.

Natasha shook her head "Their dead. All them." Tears poured out against her face "I've lost them"

A shiver ran up the Shield agent's spine. "Who's dead?" he demanded, a flicker of memory at the edge of his mind.

"The Avengers" Natasha said, panic laced throughout her tone "All of them"

"The what?" Phil asked confusion on his very countenance.

"The Avengers" A sick feeling crawling through her stomach, lacing through her very heart "The people you _died _for"

Phil smiled, though she could tell it was forced. "You must be thinking of someone else" he finally said "I'm not dead"

She didn't answer. She just stared at him, mouth moving but no words came out.

Finally, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she could remember no more.


	2. Home

_And like the moon, _

_She had a side of her_

_So dark, even the stars_

_ Couldn't shine on it._

_She had a side of her_

_So cold that even the sun_

_Couldn't burn it._

_-Abagail J._

…...

"I don't know, Sir"

"You better figure it out, Agent"

Natasha's eyes fluttered open as Fury said the last statement. She still felt empty, she knew she was still broken but she… she felt like herself again. She could hide the pain; no one would see it now.

"She knows something" Coulson said "Something important. All I know is it's important, it may be what saves us… call it a gut feeling, Sir"

"Don't call me sir, Coulson" Fury replied "and she might just be what saves us… or, what seems even more likely, or at least to me, She's what finally pushes us over the brink"

Natasha sat up slowly. She felt solid, less like a ghost. _See, _she told herself, _you can heal._ A flash of pain stung her. Yes, she would mend, but as they say, scars are forever. A glance around the room told her that she was in the Shield med bay. She recalled these black walls well.

She looked to the side of the bed, only to feel her internal injuries bleed again. Clint… of course he wasn't there. He was gone. Just like the rest of the Avengers.

Her mind couldn't quite comprehend it. Gone? They couldn't be dead. They always found a way to survive.

But they were gone, just like Shield.

Shield…

Her eyes grew wide and she cursed herself for not noticing it sooner. Shield had fallen; she had brought it to its knees. How…

Phil walked in through the open door, not surprised with her being awake. He sat in the chair next to the bed she sat in and forced a smile. "First things first" he said, her watchful stare on his every move "What's your name?"

She cocked her head "Didn't Fury remind you?" she asked "or is he too busy thinking I'm going to kill everyone"

Phil sighed, his eyes moving to the ceiling "The Director doesn't know you either, Ma'am, if you tell me your name and I'll explain"

"Natasha" the redhead forced out 'My name is Natasha Romanov"

"Well, Natasha" Phil replied "I'm not sure how to explain this to you" he leaned forward, looking her in the eye "This isn't your reality"

He wasn't lying, she could tell by the look in his eye. _What? _She wanted to scream "I know" the words were soft, slipping off her tongue before she had any idea of what she was saying.

He raised his eyebrows, but didn't ask her to elaborate. "Every reality" he began to explain "has a different 'color'. Ours is green, yours… yours is blue. The last guy to reality travel… he was red and he's going to destroy our reality"

She nodded, unsure if she should believe him "And you think I'm going to save you"

Doubt filled her veins, Captain America saved, Iron Man saved, Thor saved. The Black Widow killed. She was raised to destroy.

"If you don't" Phil stated "who will?"

She sighed, forcing her will to become steel. She was an Avenger now. She could become a hero.

"I need…" her voice faltered. What was it she needed? Allies? Equipment?

She needed the Avengers. She needed her family.

"The Avengers" she heard herself say "I need the Avengers"

Phil just smiled, insecurity written all over but he nodded and that was enough for her "Let's find them"

He stood up, every inch like her Phil, minor the small fact of not being dead. His suit was covered with what seemed to be the same wrinkles. Even the tie seemed the same.

A new reality. If it was true, then it was like a second chance. She'd lost her friends, the people she cared most for back in her own reality. Now she could have them back, start again.

She would be the hero they needed her to be.

She remembered Tony had a theory about different realities, ever since the double Spiderman incident. She forced her shaky knees to still as she followed Phil outside the hospital room, her eyes taking in everything.

Very few things had changed, or well, very few things were different. The lights… the way the base all around looked. A few things were different; mostly just the agents and that Shield existed.

Only that, really.

"Who am I supposed to be fighting?" she finally asked, ignoring the intrigued glances of Shield agents.

"He's name is Loki" Phil called back "and as I said, he's not from around here"

...

_(Sorry about the delay. Went on a vacation :) and I think this one is going to be the shortest chapter, though not by much)_


	3. Steve

_I wanted to write it down_

_Exactly how I felt_

_But somehow_

_The paper stayed empty_

_And I could not have_

_Described it any better_

__ WTM_

…..

The Quinjet shook and sputtered as they went along in the rickety vehicle. Natasha bit her lower lip, refusing to show any fear.

She'd been in a Quinjet a million times before, she wasn't afraid of that any more.

No, it wasn't that.

It was beginning again. The idea that she could get them back, only to lose them again.

Could she hold together after that?

The people she loved kept getting ripped from her arms. The people she needed bled out as she ran.

She always ran in the end.

At one point, Natasha had vowed never to love again. And the next thing she knew the world threw her back on her world when Clint had shattered her illusions. Clint… well, Clint was an idiot.

She ran a soft hand through her red hair, pushing the blood colored curls away from her face.

Would her team even be the same people?

Phil had scanned the list. The only name he had known was Steve's, and he still hadn't been found. Natasha shivered at the idea of going to the Artic to find him. Though the fact that she had brought Rogers up as the leader of their team had made Coulson trust her all the more.

That is, if the man they were going to visit wasn't him. Though, Natasha highly doubted that Captain America would be locked in the asylum.

It wasn't right.

Though, if he was, she supposed, he would stay put until proved otherwise sane. That's how he rolled. The jet lurched as it landed, relief filling Natasha's veins at being away from the hellicarrier. Here, she could escape if she needed to. Nice and easy.

She slipped out of her seat like a jaguar out for the kill. Phil tagged along her side and she felt a slight tug at the lack of archer behind them. If he had been there, it would have been like their Shield days. The beginning of the best.

"We're taking my car." Phil began "Her name is-"

"Lola" Natasha interrupted, opening the passenger door of the familiar car "and I'm not allowed to drive"

Coulson may have muttered something as he revved up the engine, but Natasha wasn't listening. She watched the streets pass by as they drove on, her eyes lingering on the different people. Her face almost a scowl now.

She wished she could be like them. Happy, carefree… innocent. All the things that was fleeting or nonexistent to the Russian assassin. The things she longed for all her life. The things she could never have.

Lola pulled into the empty driveway, bumping up and down against the gravel. It was an ugly building, she decided. With its gray walls and an almost perfect lawn that was ruined by the towering presence of the wall. Being trapped in a place may be what drove its occupants insane.

A young woman in a pale white nursing suit opened the door as they approached. "You're here to see Mr. uhh… Rogers, right?"

Natasha nodded, suspiciously glancing around the room. It was heavily carpeted, she noted as she followed the pudgy nurse through the blue hallways. The walls were padded in the hallway, as well as the rooms.

The nurse poked her head in one of the said rooms after almost a minute of walking. "Mr. Rogers" she pronounced "You have visitors"

"Send them in, please Ma'am" came the familiar reply.

Natasha's heart skipped a beat at the familiar voice and she found herself holding her breath as she entered the room. Though her heart stopped when she saw him, staring blankly out the window.

"Steve" she whispered, unable to believe.

He turned around and offered them a smile. "I don't think we've met" he told them, his eyes still glassy.

She just nodded, a smile pulling at her lips. "You're Captain America" she said.

"Not according to this people" he replied "To them, I'm crazy"

She forced herself to ignore him, turning to Phil instead "It's him" she announced. Coulson lighted up like Christmas night and turned his attention to the nurse "He's coming with us"

A glimmer of hope ran through Steve's eyes. There was a chance he could be leaving; it was like the world had mended together again.

The Nurse looked unsure but Phil handed her some papers. Natasha had no idea what they read but the nurse smiled and nodded "Okaay" she said, giving an unconvinced half smile "I hope you enjoyed your stay" she left the room, shaking.

Steve smiled, this time letting it enter his eyes. Natasha realized what had been missing from the room when she had first entered. Hope. He had lost his hope.

"I have no idea who you are" he said "but thank you"

She smiled, letting hope fill her again. "My name is Natasha." She told him "and I need your help"

"Well, Natasha" he replied "you've earned my loyalty"

"There was an idea" she began "to bring together…"

….


	4. Breathe

….

_Doubts kill dreams faster than failures ever will._

_…_

"So out of my team" Steve asked her "Who we getting next?"

She shrugged, insecurely, she had originally planned on Clint, but Phil had been unsuccessful in finding the archer. She wasn't sure how to contact Thor, or if that was even a good idea and she wanted to get Banner last.

"Stark" she replied "We're getting Tony Stark"

Steve raised his eyebrows "As in, _the _Tony Stark? The guy nobody had _ever _seen?"

"Yeah" the words slipped off her tongue easily "that one"

It felt so easy to lie. Lying had become part of who she was, the smile on her face, the bounce in her walk. Lies. Every inch.

"So" Steve asked "How do we find him?"

"We're in a secret base with secret technology" she shrugged "Finding him shouldn't be an issue"

He nodded, looking all the world like a confused boy scout. Somethings hadn't changed at all. Others had warped completely out of proportion, masking what it actually was.

Phil walked sternly out of the Director's office. The expression on his face almost unrecognizable if one hadn't known the man for years. Coulson had lost his temper.

Only a select few could make the agent lose his temper. Fury did it the most, especially when he refused to see Phil's side of the argument. The second person had been Clint, who was closely followed by Stark. Yet this new level of anger on his face… she hadn't seen it since she first joined Shield, a memory she'd rather forget.

"Change of plan" Coulson announced "We're running out of time. You need to take down Loki _now_"

"No" Natasha insisted "We can't do it without the others"

Steve suddenly found incredible interest in his shield. It was a beautiful object, he admitted to himself as he listened to the argument taking place around him.

"Thousands more will die" the agent seethed "if you don't!"

"And millions more will die" the red head hissed coolly "if we fail"

Phil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You have three days" he told her, pressing his keys into her hand "As many as I dare let you. Find as many as you can"

She forced a smile before whispering "Thank you" the next thing Phil knew she was walking out the door with his hero tagging after her.

_You know, _Phil supposed, _I think she could take the Trickster out by herself if she believed she could._

Because belief is everything.

Lola was fun to drive. Natasha loved the feel of the pedals under her feet, the pull of the wind from the windows.

"You know" Steve pointed out "I'm pretty sure you're speeding."

Sighing, Natasha slowed the car and rolled up the windows. "So…" he began "In your reality… where does Stark live?"

Her head snapped to look at him. He must have heard about the other reality from some of the agents or Phil, because she didn't tell him. She couldn't bring herself to tell him.

She belonged here now. With them.

"Do you think he lives in the same house?" he asked, hope lining his gaze.

It started if as a hunch but it grew larger. If he lived in the same house maybe… she whipped her phone out and dialed the familiar number.

Briiiing…. Briiing… Briii…

"What the &amp;## do you want?" Tony droned into the phone, his slurring revealing the fact he was drunk.

"Mr. Stark" she finally said, her heart pounding in her chest "I need to speak to you"

"Well" he slurred "you're talking"

"I need your help" she told him "It's about saving the world"

"Sounds fun" he garbled "You're one of those super spies, right?"

She raised her eyebrows "Close enough"

"Tell you what" he replied, taking a swig "Let's meet in downtown New York sometime, Honey, and we can exchange favors. I have a problem of mah own I need you ninja types to take care of"

"Could we meet today?" she pleaded "It's really kinda a rush"

Stark sighed "Half hour. Donut shop. You're paying" he slammed down the phone.

He really had no idea what he was getting into.

…


	5. Flames

…

_Sometimes following our heart means losing our minds –Unknown_

_…._

She almost didn't recognize Tony as Tony. He looked the same, just not… happy. His eyes missed the usual twinkle of mischievous intent that they usually held, the twinkle that had made Tony.

He fiddled with a glazed donut as they sat down at the table with him.

"You after my suit?" he raised his eyebrows "Cuz I am not giving it to Shield. No matter how many times you %%$) $$ ask"

"We're not after your suit" Steve replied "We want you"

"Me? Like you're going to kill me?"

Cap's eyes grew wide and he held his hands up "No, no, nothing like that" he looked at Natasha, who nodded firmly, letting the captain, take over the conversation entirely.

"We need you on our team"

Tony nodded "And what do I get out of it?" the billionaire leaned back in his chair.

"Well…" Steve grimaced "You'll live in a free world"

Tony scoffed "I help you, you help me. Reverse order."

"I really-"Steve began before getting interrupted by Natasha.

"Deal. What are we doing, Stark?" She leaned forward in her seat, eyes never leaving Tony's.

The billionaire leaned back "My shipments are being interrupted by a man who calls himself Ronin. You get rid of him, and I'm all yours"

Natasha grimaced "All your shipments?"

"Every last one. Down to the last package"

"What's in the shipments?"

Tony shrugged "Weapons mostly. Though he's not after the weapons, he's after me. I'd handle him myself but the guys an eel."

Natasha nodded "So you're helping us?"

He laughed "No. I'm sleeping. He only gets them at night, too cowardly the fight by day."

Natasha stood up, followed by Steve. "Thank you"

"So what's the plan?" asked Steve as he excited the shop with her.

"We stop this guy" she replied "Even if we have to kill him"

The boxes were heavy tonight. Heavier than they usually seemed. And there were more, shoved to the brim with the latest explosives.

Ronin wished Stark would just come, and then he could stab his sword through the billionaire's eye socket.

He worked alone these days, ever since the woman he'd loved had been killed. The last thing she had told him was the only way she could ever love him was if he brought her Iron Man's tech.

All he ever needed was her love.

So kill Stark he would, even if she was gone.

He dragged up another package, another box to toss in the fire later and shoved it into the red pickup.

"Sir" came a stern voice "I'm going to have to ask you to stop"

Ronin turned, whipping his twin blades out and stopped.

It was Captain America.

The Captain America.

"Aren't you dead?" Ronin sputtered, his voice muffled by the mask.

"I got frozen for a looong time" replied the famous hero.

Ronin figured it could be true, even the greatest needed time to cool off. He sighed, cursing his ill luck. "No Iron Man again, eh? Too cowardly to come himself?"

Captain America leapt from his perch, landing not far from where Ronin stood now. His shield glowed in the moonlight, sending shivers down the villain's back.

"Iron Man's reasons are his own" the super soldier told him.

So Ronin did the logical thing, he bent over slowly, almost to the point of kneeling "Why are you here?" he asked.

"Well" Steve began "I-"The swordsman threw a box into the hero's face and turned to run.

"I suggest" Natasha hissed "You put your hands in the air" her guns gleamed threatening.

"No" seethed Ronin, causing the Black Widow to raise an eyebrow "You're dead"

She stopped. "What?"

"I-I I killed you" stuttered her enemy "Your dead. I-I killed you"

He leapt to the side, breaking into a full run from the ghosts who followed close behind. They were dead. He was having nightmares again.

Nightmares that caught up quickly from behind as Steve crashed in from behind. The two skilled fighters rolled onto the grass.

Natasha wasn't far behind, kicking the swords away with a quick swipe of her legs. They tumbled away from their master's grasp.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" Ronin panicked "For all my crimes"

He leaned back, his head landing on the cold grass. He muttered something, though neither of the Avengers could hear it.

"Why are you after Stark?" asked Steve, glaring daggers at the pinned man.

"Because He's an idiot?" the prisoner suggested "Because my girlfriend told me to?"

"You have a scary girlfriend"

"She's beautiful, though" Ronin gazed at Natasha, his voice strangely soft "How'd you survive?"

She bit her lower lip, a strike of fear lining her heart. Then Ronin moved.

His leg snapped up, hitting Steve's leg with a thump, causing the super soldier to lose the focus on keeping Ronin pinned. Cap's face met the black gloved fist next.

The thief dove for his swords as Natasha fired a few shot. Most missed, though one bullet ran lightly across his shoulder, barely injuring him.

It still burned. He grasped his weapons, bringing them up just soon enough to slam them into Steve's shield in a flurry of steel.

Clang! The metal hit metal and one of the swords bent at the impact.

The battle quickly became more intense. A block here, slash there, a twist and a dive. The two men were lost in the clanging of steel.

Natasha didn't dare shoot, she didn't want to accidently shoot Steve.

Then Ronin got a lucky shot, his sharp blades hitting Steve's side before getting pushed away by the shield. It flew out of his enemies' hand and stood quivering in the grass.

Natasha risked it.

Bang!

It was a shot worthy of Clint. Though she meant to hit his head, her hand was shaking and she shot his remaining sword out of his hand.

Then Steve's fist met the sword master's face. He crumpled to the ground and lay still.

Natasha walked over, her hips swaying. "Good work" she smiled at Steve and bent down to confirm her suspicions. Her fingers tenderly grasped the soft cloth of his mask and pulled.

His nose was bleeding and his eyes were wide open.

He smiled "I do it all for you, Tasha" he whispered, before his eyes rolled back and he officially passed out.

"Who is he?" Steve asked, kneeling beside her.

She looked at her partner "His name is Clint"

….


	6. Prison

….

_We stopped checking for the monsters under the bed when we realized their inside us_

_….._

The shield walls were dark, and kinda dreary, even more so around here. Out of all the places she hated at Shield… the prison bay was number one, with its black walls and steel bars. She'd seen the worse of men trapped there, with scowls and mourning eyes, she'd seen innocent people behind silver bars, praying at you with their eyes, she'd seen the most broken, the most scarred, shattered people who didn't care about the prison around them. They wanted the pain to go away.

And somehow, Clint managed to fit into them all at this moment.

They had forced him into a prison suit and he sneered from behind the glass window from which Natasha watched his integration. His ruffled hair and bruised face reminded her of one of the many times he'd been caught in a fist fight, but it almost gave him an air of innocence.

It was his eyes that made her decide he belonged in the last category.

"So" Tony said loudly, knocking her off her train of thoughts "That's the bozo?"

She barely gave Stark a glance "That's the bozo"

"Huh" Tony retorted "Huh…"

Steve snorted, though he didn't say anything until he saw Phil approaching. "Agent Coulson" he called over to the Shield worker "Are they ever going to let us talk to him?"

Coulson took a quick glance around and shrugged "I think you can head in there now" he replied "Though if anyone yells at you, run"

Natasha nodded as she walked down the hall, her hips swaying nicely. Steve tagged behind her, like a puppy worried he'd lose her if she got too far away.

"So why are we given bozo a few questions?" Tony asked, jogging along to catch up "He still got a few tricks up his ^%&amp;%&amp; sleeve?"

"I'll tell you later" she sighed, maybe a bit harsher than she meant, as the door clanged open. She stopped in the door way, hovering for a breath. "I need to do this alone" she whispered, eyes not leaving the wall ahead.

Steve glanced at their prisoner but nodded "Be careful"

She didn't even manage a nod as the door clicked behind her. She wasn't afraid of what was trapped in the room with her. She didn't have it in her o be afraid of Clint. She was scared of what was inside her.

He ignored her and continued to stare forward, though his sneer had been replaced with his resting face, the only sign he hadn't been completely lost in thought was the slight twitching in his left pinky, something he always did when he was nervous.

"Hi" she greeted as she sat across the steel table.

He barely glanced at her before glowering at the floor with a stern grimace on his face. "You here the gloat, Tash?"

"I don't gloat" she leaned against the table "I ask questions"

He glared, finally looking her in the eyes. "Ask away" he replied, throwing a cuffed hand in the air.

She forced a smile "Why Stark?"

Clint snorted, turning his glare to the roof "You know why, Tasha"

Natasha sighed, leaning back in her chair "You'll find this hard to believe" she forced her voice to stay steady, though she didn't know why it wanted to shake "But I'm not the Natasha you knew… it's complicated"

"Are you going to tell some stupid sob story?" he raised his eyebrows "Because I have my own problems to worry about"

He looked guilty now, like her presence was slowly killing him.

"My problems" she told him "are about the world getting taken over by some maniac. I need your help, Clint"

He snorted, loudly, wanting her to know he didn't believe her. He didn't want to believe her.

"I killed you last time" he pointed out "I can sure do it again"

His eyes said different. They were afraid of her.

So she just smiled and she told him everything. Everything about the reality she called home. Everything she dared recall.

Most where lies.

He listened but he didn't believe.

The last words were on her lips, ready to fall when he interrupted.

"Your good" his eyes rolled "but if you expect me to believe that, I'd have to be as crazy as you"

She smiled, and quoted the first thing he'd told her when she'd joined Shield "Well… you won't find a better place to learn, Honey, this place is a school for crazies" she turned to leave "It's the only way we can keep moving"

And she walked away, lost in her own memories.

She didn't cry, though, she would never cry again.

She was the Black Widow.

Natasha had been lost back in her own reality.

"Learn anything?" Steve asked as he joined her down her slow walk through the hallway. She shook her head and may have replied.

She doesn't remember anything else, really until she quietly asked Steve "Have you ever loved?"

He looked surprised at the question but answered almost immediately. "Yes"

"What was she like?"

His eyes were distant "Perfect. Strong. There are no words that can really explain Peggy"

She nodded, her green eyes taking a quick glance around. They widened as she realized they were missing an important piece of their puzzle.

"Where's Stark?"

Steve's face turned into a grimace.

"This can't be good"

It was probably then that the alarms started to blare and the red lights began to flash.

Not good at all.

…..


End file.
